Flying Trapeze

There are times in life when we are in-between. They say that our life as we had known it has ended, a door has closed and we cannot go back. The past is the past. Yet the future? What will become of my future? I do not know. My future has become the great unknown. Can I have happiness? I am in-between past and future. I am like a trapeze artist who has just let go of the trapeze, somersaulting through mid air. Will I catch the new trapeze on the other side? When you are in this uncertain place, being patient and taking things one day at a time makes the present situation more tolerable and the future easier with the passage of time.

There are instances when a person should never look back. We should never look back on bad memories, bad attitudes and bad relationships. We can only look back on what is good. We can look back when you believe that you have left someone who wishes to go with you, not wanting to see you leave, not wanting to see you close the door. When you try to leave and that person holds on, you have the option not to go and ask that person why you should stay.

Stay. A word that means you are needed. A word that gives assurance.

Yes. I feel like a trapeze artist. I let go of the trapeze and it's too late for me to get the next trapeze. I am on the verge of falling down. But the trapeze that I've let go came swinging back. I have to save my life. I have to grab that trapeze.

The show must go on and I have to jump again to reach the other side. As a trapeze artist, people will expect me to swing to the other side. But I have the choice not to do that. Not to please other people. I have the choice to stay and just go down. They will boo me that's for sure. The thing is, I don't need their applause.

Two things that I learned:

Make your OWN decision.
Do not rush the decision.

We are responsible for making our own decisions (regardless of the opinions of friends, family, professionals and the general public), because we have to live with the choice we make. It takes strength and clear-headedness to assess the situation and do whatever is best for you. You have to decide on what you really want. You don't choose things because other people feel that it is the best option for you. You should follow what is in your heart. It is your life. If you follow what other people want, are they the ones who will suffer the consequences of your choice?

I have made a lot of decisions in my life. But I have no regrets. Whether it was right or wrong. I took full responsibilty for it. If I made a decision now and it ended as the wrong one, I'll admit the mistake and I will bounce back. I'm never afraid of committing mistakes. I'm not afraid of failure. That's how I will learn. That will make me a better person.

I choose how I feel. It is my God-given right to choose for myself. This includes choosing for myself how I will feel about anything, everything, all things.

I have made the choice and I am contented for the first time in my life.