Damned if you do. Damned if you don't.

A lot of people do not choose their own happiness.

Try to think about two people testing a dog's obedience. The first person brought dogfood. The second one didn't bring anything. The dog will normally choose the one with the food. But it doesn't mean that the dog will go with this person. This dog will still choose the second person whom this animal feels more comfortable with. You still do not understand? Try thinking like a prisoner. A prisoner stays inside his cell. But this doesn't mean he is happy that he is staying. There is a reason why he is staying. He doesn't wanna be there forever. There's no assurance that he can get out. But for sure, he's wishing every single day for the time to come that he'll be free. He can be sentenced for life imprisonment and that is the worst part of it. He is staying because he has to. If the warden asks him if he has plans to sneak out, obviously, the prisoner will say that he won't. But every single passing day, that prisoner will always find a way to get out.

My fish philosophy: Just like a fish who got hooked with a bait. The fish was after the worm, not the hook. The fish is risking to die and get hurt because that fish wants to have the worm. Just like with people, I know someone who got hooked with a bait. Even if he doesn't want to, he had to because he's afraid of losing the worm. You had the fish but he's not happy. He's dead. The fish had the option to swim away but... you have the bait. The fish was afraid the hook will take the bait away.

This is when love comes in. If there's love, you'll let the dog go to the other person and not think about the money you spent to feed him. If there's love, you do not imprison someone. If there's love, the hook shouldn't have the bait so that the fish can choose whether he wants to die or swim away.

People stay and people choose to stay with you not because they love you. There's always a reason behind. You can only test the true reason why people stay with you if you remove other factors like your money, if you have kids with him/her etc. People stay because they are afraid of losing. They are not afraid of losing you. They just do not want to part with the things that you'll be taking away.

Sometimes, you have to accept when that person is not truly happy with you. No matter how many questions you ask, you will receive an answer that you are hoping for but believe me, it's not the truth. It's easy to pretend. That person can pretend he loves you but deep down, love no longer sits in his heart. Set that person free. If that person claims that he doesn't want to go anywhere, it is because there is something that you'll be taking away. Think about it.

There is a place that we call home. You come home to the people you love. You come home to the people you are obligated to be with. When someone tells you "I'm coming home", there is no guarantee that he really wants to be with the person who will be waiting for him.

Some sisterly advice from me: Do not judge people who decide for themselves. Do not even react why they chose to do what they want to do. There is always a reason behind. I was raised not to judge people and what they do. It gives me a feeling of liberation. I don't even react. If you judge me for what I want, that's no longer my problem. Go lick your own ice cream. I don't even retaliate. I'll just look you in the eye and walk away. I know that the sweetest revenge is not doing anything...at all. Do not ever reach for someone who is ignoring you. Please. Stalk someone else. Don't give advices when that person doesn't even want to talk to you. Do not make-up stories unless you get paid for doing so.

When people choose to hold on, that is true love. You do not care what happens in the future. That is love because you are risking to get hurt. As what Eleanor Roosevelt said,

"Do what you feel in your heart is right for you'll be criticized anyway. Damned if you do, damned if you don't".

I'm fighting for what I feel even if it seems that I'm one warrior going to a battle against thousands of enemies. The only thing that protects me is the shield which is the person who is loving me now and the sword which is the love that I feel for that person. I may win or not. What's important is that the shield chose to protect me and we did fight together. If the shield got broken and is no longer there to protect me, that is the time I will walk away defeated. The thing is, I am fighting because the shield wanted me to and doesn't want me to walk away.

Yes, a lot of people do not choose their own happiness. But remember, things are not always what they seem. I'd rather have someone who loves me and keeps me in his heart from afar than have someone who is always with me, day in and day out, but I'm not in or anywhere around near his heart.